Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Sex, Money and Divorce


The biggest problems that causes people to get a divorce in the USA and I would also suspect in most of the rest of the Western world is sex and money are going to be the biggest reasons, in both cases one party doesn't feel that there is enough sex or money and divorce lawyers are sought.
With both of these reasons, if there is enough time, if the communication hasn't completely broke down, you might be able to save a marriage through talking and then taking actions to make both sides comfortable and allow them to avoid a divorce.
Money
Money Most people would be surprised how much money just slips through their fingers and they get to the end of the month and they say to themselves where did all of the money go. You should if money is tight know exactly where all of the money has gone! Budgets that are followed are going to be the best single thing that keeps a divorce at bay. Even if you cannot discipline yourself to following a ridged budget, just knowing where the money is being spent might enlighten you and stop some frivolous spending.
When I quit smoking one of the things that I used to motivate myself was how much money I would be saving, so I started to write down how much I was really spending on cigarettes and the essences of it is this, you do not just walk into a 7-11 and buy just cigarettes, you get a drink and bag of chips or a hot dog and they are all cheap, but you walk out the door and you have spent $6, $8 and sometimes $10 bucks and that happens every day. If you have 10,000 debt on credit cards that is more than your minimum payment! The biggest truth out there is to have a plan and live below your means.
Think about it? Do you really need a fancy car that is a gas guzzler, because if you go through a divorce you are probably going to find yourself having to radically downsize your life style! Trust me it makes more sense to do it proactive, rather reactive, wouldn't you agree?
Sex
Sex, now that is a tough one, and it is real tough to talk about, but if you are serious about saving your marriage you are going to have to talk about it, hopefully in a quiet location with a bottle of wine. You might start with a couple of sexy magazines and with a spirit of exploration try to figure out where each side needs to go to get their expectations met or at least moved towards a workable sex life for both parties.
Divorce
Now these suggestions might not be successful in the end, you might still need a divorce lawyer, but if you both try these suggestions honestly, hopefully, you have reopened the communication channels and you can agree to disagree and be able to talk to one another with the goal of getting an amicable split. Couples that end up in divorces that can talk and reason with each other are many times going to get the cheaper divorces as they will not have their divorce attorneys proxy fighting for them. Good Luck!  
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